When I do feel sad, I think of others who are going through so much more in their lives, and I know that what I am facing does not compare to what they are facing. I know that God puts us all through trials and tribulations, and this just happens to be a part of my journey.
I feel a lot of self-guilt. I really screwed up my body. If I hadn't stopped running due to being busy, then I know my body would be in better shape.
I did PiYo tonight. I like it, but I don't like the even more swelling that comes into my hands afterwards. See, in PiYo, my hands are used a lot. The swelling didn't go down after yesterday. There were times where being on my hands was too much for me, so I went into child's pose. I made my own smoothie afterwards- spinach, plum, banana, protein, ice, and milk (because I am out of almond milk). I was worried that it would be nasty. But it wasn't bad at all.
One thing I have noticed is that right now, when I wake up in the mornings, my body isn't slow. But I have truly experienced it when it was moving slow. My sister and I both think it's lupus. I kind of had a feeling by the rheumatologist appointment that it wasn't RA. Only because not all the symptoms were adding up. A lot more things are adding up towards lupus-including my ANA results. The ANA showed up in the lupus panel.
In the lupus panel.
I was shocked and stunned when I read that, because I was led to believe that it didn't show up there or in the RA panel. I looked at the results. I looked at the percentages. And it's there. That's why I suspect the rheumatologist didn't look at those results. He was the one who also told me it wasn't lupus, it wasn't RA. So armed with what I know, I plan on asking tons of questions next time I am there.
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