Fibromyalgia...

In late September, the side of my knee started hurting, and it DID feel swollen, and looked swollen, so I went back to the Rheumatologist on Oct. 1st. He said it wasn't swollen, and was saying I had Fibromyalgia. He prescribed meloxicam for the arthritis and cymbalta for the Fibromyalgia/depression that was going on in my body.

I took the meloxicam twice and decided I didn't want to be on it, given that it was causing crazy side effects when I took it. I learned to adjust to the cymbalta. It helps me not feel the worry and anxiety that I used to feel. I don't necessarily like it, but I'm not sad or scared like I was. I cried that first day after I was told I have Fibromyalgia. I couldn't help but feel that I failed my body somehow. My dad was there to reassure me that I didn't fail my body. I had a lot of guilt about it. I was playing the "could have, would have, should have" game in my head.

Since then, things are better. I've lost 8 pounds. I have bouts where I am really tired. Just under both hips mostly is tender, but not always. The most pain I have is in my hands. They hurt from time to time, and are sometimes tender in certain areas. Sometimes the balls of my feet hurt. The swelling is pretty consistent. As are my hands being warm. Those are things I don't understand. But I stopped dwelling on it. Being on the cymbalta has helped me to live life again, to stop dwelling on things I cannot control with my body. I'm slowly enjoying things again.

One day at a time...